Brick by Brick

I looked at the calendar today and can no longer see the day my boy passed away. Minutes, hours, days go by quickly; I'm keeping busy. This is a time of rebuilding for me and my sweet husband. We talk constantly about our feelings and we're focusing on our future together - without Sailor physically in it. We both know he will live in our hearts and minds forever, and every toast we make will be to our boy. We even put an offer on a house, which I hope they accept.

Moving would help greatly, that way everywhere I look I don't see the boy's face gazing up at me: in the sun spots, on the couch, in his bed, in the kitchen, while I use the restroom, when I get out of the shower, in the back yard, in the front, while I sit here typing. He was always near me, waiting for my next move. Now I'm the one waiting. For the days to pass so I can rebuild my life.

Every day I lay the foundation for a healthy, joyful life of service and love. I have to. I can't help thinking of that cheesy new age mantra, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better."

Thanks to the love and prayers from mom, friends, and family, I am.